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Lust in the Age of Anxiety

memoirs of dating, sex, and human relationships in a tense world

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Drip

November 11, 2019November 11, 2019 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

“Drink more water,” she said. “Do less cocaine.” Those are the last words I remember her saying to my face before she disappeared. Again. It’s true that I was consuming a preposterous amount of incredibly pure cocaine all day, every day, for nearly two years; however, nothing molds the will of a contrarian quite like … Continue reading Drip

Liquid

July 17, 2019July 17, 2019 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

I have rules. They are to protect my person, my property, and my heart. I didn’t come up with them all at once, but they were each canonized through experience. Some rules are more important than others. 1) First date meetings should be in a public place. Not a motel room, car, or her apartment … Continue reading Liquid

Love is Free

May 4, 2019February 24, 2020 ~ pullmeinside ~ 1 Comment

This girl asked me what I think love is. And all I could think of was the grinning thief from the festival, shuffling around putting trash on the fire, and coming over with his hand open, saying Love is free, spread it around And the women I loved, Those people I believe I’ve loved, Every … Continue reading Love is Free

The Molly, The Witch, and The Corset

April 8, 2019March 31, 2020 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

I can still feel her scent on the shirt I stole from her. She still has my sweater. My grandpa sweater. My oversized blue cardigan button down sweater. The 2XL one. She’s still sleeping in it and wearing it around town like a daddy-chic dress or some sort of officer’s coat, and sleeping in it … Continue reading The Molly, The Witch, and The Corset

Dirty Little Religion

March 27, 2019April 15, 2019 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

I make a dirty little religion out of lovin' I'll make a dirty little convert out of you I make a dirty little religion out of lovin' It's a dirty little religion, hallelujah Dirty little acolyte Dirty little one You'll learn the fundamentals of desire Can I get a witness To my testament? Can I … Continue reading Dirty Little Religion

Jackamo

April 19, 2017August 17, 2020 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

“It’s a good thing we get along so great in bed,” I said, “Because I don’t think we could ever actually share a meal together.” She agreed. While my cooking skills had warmed the hearts of many, she would not thaw for anything other than deli turkey, like a child. Like her child. Turkey was … Continue reading Jackamo

High Holidays

March 24, 2017March 27, 2020 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

She named my dick “Larry.” Larry. Of all possible names, she chose an actual human man’s name. Though, a man’s name from a different culture, would have been less questionable. If she named my cock and balls Faraz, I would have worn it openly. That would have been exotic. But Larry is some lame cousin … Continue reading High Holidays

Hold on to Your Nerves

May 27, 2016February 6, 2018 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

  I think it's good to be nervous sometimes. Not the kind of nervousness and anxiety that comes with going to work every day, but rather the sense of nervousness that can be interpreted as exhilaration. If everything in life is blah, but you can still get some weak-kneed excitement, I think you should hold … Continue reading Hold on to Your Nerves

Game One

January 5, 2016February 6, 2018 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

Jennifer was worn beyond words. And since she came more than she could count or even quantify, I assume she didn’t care that I wasn't going to. After a quick nap she took an uber home. Ten minutes later I was on my Cumslut's porch, fishing the key out of one of her broken clay pots. … Continue reading Game One

Nothing is Perfect

December 29, 2015February 6, 2018 ~ pullmeinside ~ Leave a comment

  Jennifer and I finished fucking and it was a long aggressive session, and I took off the cock rings and I stopped recording, and the bed was on fire so I got up and walked into the living room and sat in the lazyboy and tried to expose as much of my surface area … Continue reading Nothing is Perfect

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