We met on online, and even though she seemed somewhat indifferent with her responses, we finally got together for drinks at a cozy second floor bar in West Philly. It was a quirky cash only spot above an Ethiopian restaurant and featured a live bluegrass quintet every week. We got to know each other a … Continue reading Serial
I find the German language uniquely sexy. I can’t tell the difference between High or Low German, I just know that while most foreign languages sound sexy when you can’t understand them, there is something especially arousing about standard German with compounded words hung like a horse, and a voice that can turn from lighthearted … Continue reading Fahrvergnügen
“Drink more water,” she said. “Do less cocaine.” Those are the last words I remember her saying to my face before she disappeared. Again. It’s true that I was consuming a preposterous amount of incredibly pure cocaine all day, every day, for nearly two years; however, nothing molds the will of a contrarian quite like … Continue reading Drip
I have rules. They are to protect my person, my property, and my heart. I didn’t come up with them all at once, but they were each canonized through experience. Some rules are more important than others. 1) First date meetings should be in a public place. Not a motel room, car, or her apartment … Continue reading Liquid
This girl asked me what I think love is. And all I could think of was the grinning thief from the festival, shuffling around putting trash on the fire, and coming over with his hand open, saying Love is free, spread it around And the women I loved, Those people I believe I’ve loved, Every … Continue reading Love is Free
I can still feel her scent on the shirt I stole from her. She still has my sweater. My grandpa sweater. My oversized blue cardigan button down sweater. The 2XL one. She’s still sleeping in it and wearing it around town like a daddy-chic dress or some sort of officer’s coat, and sleeping in it … Continue reading The Molly, The Witch, and The Corset
I make a dirty little religion out of lovin' I'll make a dirty little convert out of you I make a dirty little religion out of lovin' It's a dirty little religion, hallelujah Dirty little acolyte Dirty little one You'll learn the fundamentals of desire Can I get a witness To my testament? Can I … Continue reading Dirty Little Religion
“It’s a good thing we get along so great in bed,” I said, “Because I don’t think we could ever actually share a meal together.” She agreed. While my cooking skills had warmed the hearts of many, she would not thaw for anything other than deli turkey, like a child. Like her child. Turkey was … Continue reading Jackamo
The Ikea mattress had only been with me a few months and was already destroyed. It was hardly meant to support someone of my own weight, much less two or three people. The rows of pocket coil springs were splayed and bulging and pushed way into my back. It was a temporary replacement anyway since … Continue reading Death of a Mattress
She named my dick “Larry.” Larry. Of all possible names, she chose an actual human man’s name. Though, a man’s name from a different culture, would have been less questionable. If she named my cock and balls Faraz, I would have worn it openly. That would have been exotic. But Larry is some lame cousin … Continue reading High Holidays
I think it's good to be nervous sometimes. Not the kind of nervousness and anxiety that comes with going to work every day, but rather the sense of nervousness that can be interpreted as exhilaration. If everything in life is blah, but you can still get some weak-kneed excitement, I think you should hold … Continue reading Hold on to Your Nerves
I’ve been waiting to get this job. Two months now. Two interviews, waiting on a third. I’m starting to have a bad feeling. I think dating has prepared me for this – I know when they don’t want me, I can feel it when they become vacated of interest. It’s palpable. Like when I said … Continue reading The Interview
I planned my weeks out on Saturday. Which is actually Tuesday because that’s my day off. Wednesday is Monday and Monday is Friday and Friday is like Wednesday and a half. Jennifer and Alice on Wednesday. Debra on Thursday. Angela and Annie on Friday. Jennifer again on Saturday. Someone new on Sunday. Danielle on Monday. … Continue reading Love
Jennifer was worn beyond words. And since she came more than she could count or even quantify, I assume she didn’t care that I wasn't going to. After a quick nap she took an uber home. Ten minutes later I was on my Cumslut's porch, fishing the key out of one of her broken clay pots. … Continue reading Game One
Jennifer and I finished fucking and it was a long aggressive session, and I took off the cock rings and I stopped recording, and the bed was on fire so I got up and walked into the living room and sat in the lazyboy and tried to expose as much of my surface area … Continue reading Nothing is Perfect
Lust in the Age of Anxiety 